I Stopped Making Emotional Purchases

Here’s how I did it.

I made many financial mistakes when I was young. I bought a Mac before I even had a clue how to operate one; I bought an iPhone before I knew the difference between iOS and Android; I purchased a Playstation before I knew what games I would like to play on it.

I invested in online businesses before I knew what pyramid schemes were. I spent money on advertisements before I knew how affiliate marketing worked. I bought stories that were told to me before I knew what storytelling even was.

I maxed out my credit cards before I knew how credit cards worked. I took several loans before I knew we would become inseparable friends. I learned what returned payments were before I knew what credit limit was.

They say curiosity killed the cat. Well, curiosity definitely fucked me up bad.

And then, one day, I was in serious debt. One I’m still struggling with today.

That was the question I kept asking myself day in and day out. Why did it happen? How did I get so tangled financially that now I can’t invest in the critical things in life?

Why is it that the first thing I do in the morning is open my Bank account to check there’s no crisis? Why can’t I enjoy my life instead of living every month in a loop of making sure I don’t go over my credit limit?

Why can’t I save money for my future? Why can’t I even imagine owning a house? Why my super fantastic salary is never enough? Why do I have more calls with my banker than with my best friends each month?

Why can’t I break the cycle?

When I asked myself that last question, something clicked. I do have a salary each month. So, even if I still carry payments from previous months, changing my behavior now should change how much of that salary falls into payments, no?

What am I doing wrong every month?

There is no magic way to get out of debt. The only way is to spend less than you earn. Sure, you can try to earn more by making money outside a full-time job. You can have an additional part-time job; you can have an online business; you can sell stuff. But you can never escape that rule.

Spend less than you earn.

A ton of income ideas cannot fix emotional purchases. If you purchase things emotionally, you will keep doing that even when your income increases. You will not think about your future, your well-being, and so on.

Antonio Damasio’s research shows that need is not necessary when making an emotional purchase. That Macbook I mentioned earlier? I had no real need for it. I didn’t even know how to use one. But I purchased it anyway. I felt I needed one.

Once I understood emotional purchases were responsible for keeping me deep in the debt mud, I knew I needed to do something about it and fast.

Emotional Purchases weigh heavy on our mental health. Let’s say you bought a new iPad. You take it home, all excited to open it. That’s when the dopamine hits us. Shopping addiction is a real thing, and buying expensive stuff boosts us with dopamine.

Was I addicted to shopping? I don’t know. I didn’t give myself a chance to find out.

It took a while to find balance in my bank account, but once I achieved it, I canceled five credit cards. I only have one now. I still struggle to save, but I no longer break my limit on my bank account.

I also told my parents to keep me grounded in reality. They helped with what they could. Now, after six months of brute-forcing my way to save money, I lowered my debt amount from 70K dollars to 60K dollars.

I’m still dreaming about buying an iPad Pro with a pencil and keyboard — I know the purchase won’t justify itself and it would sit at home and gather dust at some point like so many possessions we humans have. So for now, the iPad stays at the Apple store.

For me, dealing with emotional purchases involved barring myself from being able to make these big purchases and also sharing other people (my parents) in my life to make it easier to commit.

That is not the only way to deal with emotional purchases and debt — it’s the way that works for me. Maybe it works for you too, and perhaps it doesn’t.

You need to figure it out for yourself. What allows you to keep yourself from unboxing something new every week? Maybe you blog about it? Perhaps you try to come up with the money before you buy something? There are millions of people in the world with debt. Some of them have found creative ways to deal with their financial status.

You need to do what works for you. Just do it before you’ve buried under a mountain of debt and unused purchases.

It’s difficult, I know. Some days you want to rip your heart out. You want to throw away the bank statement. You call those laughing people at the cafe ‘lucky bastards’ under your breath. You’re always calculating even though you promised yourself that you wouldn’t be close friends with Math after high school.

Do what works for you and let your life correct their course. It’s challenging but always remember — it’s not impossible!

One of the dreams I want to come true is a trip to New York City with my mom. I want to take her to Broadway shows and music concerts and pay for everything. I want us to go to fancy Kosher restaurants. I want us to drink or eat some of the stuff given in a hotel room that if you touch, you pay.

I want to give her as much as she had given me. It breaks my heart to be 32 years old exactly one week from next Saturday and still live in my parents’ house, or rely on them for food and drink, to not have a car. Studying for a driver’s license is 5000 NIS, which is 1388 dollars. That’s a huge expense for me.

But I’ll make this dream real soon. Desperate times call for drastic measures. I always promise myself this time it will be different. Every birthday I’m disappointed with myself again and again.

Never again.

Hold on to your dreams but work hard on your goals. Find what works and put all of your energy into it. Be passionate about saving money and paying off your debt. Light fire in your eyes to make it happen sooner rather than later. You can do it. Everyone needs to hear, I believe in you from time to time, mostly from ourselves. So, even if you don’t see it yet — you can do this.

I believe in you!