Things Money Can't Buy Are the Hardest to Find

But I’ve been lucky…

“Fyi, I didn’t pay the rent this month…”

“Again?” she asks, with a worried look on her face.

“Yeah… we can’t right now…”

Our moods changed drastically… We then argued a bit, I shoot my usual “I do the best I can!”, she threw the “we can get evicted” card and then I left the room.

Ten minutes later she invented some silly joke to use as an excuse to speak to me, showing me that we were good. This is her way to say “I’m sorry”.

This probably isn’t any good…

Later that day, while I was working on “important” topics to write about, she entered the room with a bowl on her hands and said, “This probably isn’t very good…”.

It was a chocolate mousse she had made.

“It’s good”, I said. And it was.

The sweetness of the cold chocolate embracing my tongue makes me feel good, but what really warms my chest is looking at her.

God, how beautiful she is… and how stupid am I for not telling her this all the time?

And what a fool for not being able to fix up our lives!

We’re broke.

We’re broke. We’ve been broke since we’re together, for over 12 years now.

I feel dumb for reading so many books on personal finance, business, and personal growth, and still, be broke.

Am I stupid? I know I’m not, I’m probably a bit above average on the “intelligence field”, but that only makes me look even dumber through my inertia!

I know what to do, I know how to do it, I even know why to do it, but I just keep not doing it.

I know that knowledge without action is pretty much useless, and yet I rather watch Netflix instead of doing the stuff I need to do.

We’re broke because of me.

I’m just getting out of bankruptcy… it wasn’t really my fault, I just didn’t care enough about the stuff other people were doing that also involved my name, but as I like to say, “it may not be your fault, but it’s your responsibility”, so it kinda is my fault…

Those days are getting behind, hard years where we had many discussions, many deprivations, some sleepless nights and a lot of late fees.

Despite that, she stood with me for all these years, and I’m sure she will be with me forever, and you know why am I so sure?

She has no hope on our future!

I’m sure about it because she has no hope in the future!

She doesn’t think things will ever get better, she “knows” we’ll always struggle to have a comfortable life, and that makes me sad, of course, but on the other hand, that assures me that she really loves me.

Staying with me through all these troubled years was already a good sign, but doing it without any hope that things would get better is the ultimate love proof.

That’s why I love her even more and why I know she loves me unconditionally, and that kind of confidence, that kind of trust and peace of mind is something that money simply can’t buy.

I almost forgot I was working on “serious” topics to write about…

I could write about Business or Customer Service. I could write about Mind Maps. I could share what I learned this week.

But I won’t.

I won’t write about that now.

No, I want to write about you.

I want to write to you, for you.

Writing about you might be useless for anyone that ends up reading this, but it’s the most important topic for me.

You and he are the only ones that truly matter, and I know most people spend their lives looking for what I already have, and there’s not enough money in the world that can buy this kind of wealth.

This is the reason why I actually feel thankful for all the hard times we passed together since it made us stronger than we would ever be if life was easy on us.

That’s why I sometimes feel sorry for those really successful and rich people.

I keep imaging them spending most of their time wondering if their relationships are real and disinterested.

You can’t buy trust. You can’t buy love — not for long, at least.

And that leads you to not love with all your heart, not giving yourself to your partner, not loving at all.

You rather keep for yourself enough amount of love that keeps you safe from heartbreak than open up your chest and rip your heart off and put it on someone’s hands.

That person can smash it, that’s true, but she can also be the one that can look after it like no one else, not even you!

But we avoid it so many times, afraid of what might happen…

That’s sad. That’s a poor way of living.

Being broke is fucking hard. Being unsecured about the intentions of your loved ones is way worst.

I’m wealthy on what really matters. I have you, I don’t need much more.

But still, I’m gonna prove you wrong and we will have a bright future, just wait and see.

You don’t have to believe in me, you don’t need hope, you just need time, and I know you won’t go anywhere soon so I‘m sure I’ll prove you wrong.

You’re beautiful. I love you.

Thank you for making me so rich.